Title and Registration
by WyethJinn
Summary: “I used to be happy . . . . . “ She repeated to herself. Her words were laced with regret and something close to nostalgia. It was selfish of her to blame all of her misfortune in life upon her father’s death, a litany that she constantly reminded herself
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer -lust, love, want, desire, to own it . . . . . But sadly don't own Inuyasha. frowns

This day was no different from any other day for Kagome. In fact, her life was quite mediocre, so she thought. Compared to other twenty-two year olds her age she was considered old fashioned .Yes, she had managed to get her Master's degree in Education , travel through Europe twice, ski the slopes on Mt. Everest, buy a Small condo, and become the owner of a small luxury car. Yet still she inevitably thought of herself as a failure.

And yet, she still yearned for something more than the quiescent pleasantries of her life. Kagome worried a nub of graphite and eraser between crooked teeth and rapped her fingers against a stack of ungraded papers in pent frustration. It was only Monday and yet she felt as though she had been going at it with her 7th grade class for days upon end. Already she felt heavy lidded; her voice already edged with the shadows fatigue. Kagome graciously awaited the end of the day. The end of the spit balls, the cheap gossip in the teachers lounge, and the leers from her male coworkers.

She gave an exasperated sigh, arching her neck, and pinching her thin nose bridge between her fingers. There she would settle into the monotony of routine; dropping by to check in on the same old boyfriend of five years at his part time job and engaging in the same quaint conversations about how their day had been. She would then drive home, sometimes breaking the etched routine to grab something to eat at a local diner, or visit Kaede . . . . It didn't make much of a difference, it was all the same to her anyway.

She couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong with her. All of her girlfriends always gushed about how perfect Hojo was for Kagome, and barraged her with questions about 'when the wedding was going to be.' Hojo was a good guy, Kagome could quickly admit to that. He had come from a respectful home, the son of one of the most prominent business men in Kyoto. He had been a valedictorian of his highschool class, and reasonably attractive.

Kagome had been fifteen at the time, and had willing succumbed to his good mannered charms after the death of her father. She had been hurting and Hojo had been there at her side, offering an escape from the pain. She had smiled, clenching his offered his hand; naively believing that if she tried enough, and exerted enough effort into their relationship all of the pain would go away. That she would become numb with her affections for the teenage boy.

The ignominy and guilt that came with the circumstances of their relationship made her sick thinking about them. Behind all of the pretenses of love she had just used him as a remedy to her pain, as an emotional crutch. She couldn't bear to break it off, although the feelings for the man she called her 'lover' had remained dormant for years. Kagome felt entitled to return his accented affections if nothing else.

'_To repay him for all the sacrificed years.' _She thought. _'For all of the listless nights I spent in his comfort of his embrace.' _

Kagome was wrenched sharply out of her pessimistic reveries with the seventh hour bell. She racked frustrated hands through her bangs and plastered a smile on her frowning face, until the last of her students had left before breaking down. When did she become such a horrible person who inevitably brought disappointment to those she cared and loved for the most.

Bear with me for now, the plot is rather cliche for now, but with encouragement ( Reviews are greatly appreciated! ) and chapter one it will improve.


	2. There once was a girl

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha

Body bared and naked Kagome kneeled , finger pressed and tongue tied on the bathroom counter. Fingers racked over the narrow swell of skin as the listless face of her reflection glared back at her with florid lips and hard lashes. Her hands fluttered over the rigid contour of skin; over the sharp delve of flesh in her cheeks. An elbowed sigh initiated, escaping the course internment of her throat. Kagome inhaled, struggling for air . . . . . a struggle for misguided composure.

The air was heavy with steam and with the diluted scent of burning incense. The catacomb of wax that rounded the vanity only added to the stifling heat of the bath. Kagome's hair clung to her forehead like a second skin. The locks of obsidian hair fell in violent wrappings down her back, curling round her waist and the beginning swell of her hips.

There once was a girl . . . . . .

"I used to be happy once you know . . . . ." Kagome confided in her reflection. She flinched watching the impassive flutter of lips against her own flat movements. Her voice sounded fake and faraway. It reminded her of a cheesy line pulled from a bad chick flick. The plot too generic and the soundtrack was composed of poorly made eighties love ballad and some cheap knock offs of jazz.

"I used to be happy . . . . . " She repeated to herself. Her words were laced with regret and something close to nostalgia. It was selfish of her to blame all of her misfortune in life upon her father's death, a litany that she constantly reminded herself of . . . . At twenty-two it was hard to forget though. She had spent most if her life blaming failing grades, faltering friendships, and now her long term relationships on something that had occurred nearly eight years ago.

Kagome picked herself off of the counter, peeling her fingers from the smudged glass of her mirror; feeling guilty as she stepped

Feeling guilty as she replaced the suffocating heat for the comforting warmth of water as she stepped under the cover the running shower. Her own voice and the once grating rasp of tears splitting through the drone of water against tile like a blunt blade. Stuffy nose, and flushed she bowed her head under the spigot, letting an endless stream of water rush down her back in warm torrents.

. . . . . _I've changed. . . . ._

Too guilty to have faced Hojo and too upset to find any solace in Kaede's herbal lore, Kagome evaded the mediocrity of her routine; opting to worry herself into a fitful rest instead.

She had hoped that some sleep would do her some good, mollifying any transgression and disorder she had felt.

But instead, she had laid awake, biting her guilt into her bottom lip and worried fingernails. A string of accusations had sounded in her head. _You're a terrible person for using him Kagome . . . . _

She sighed, leaning into the artificial embrace of the warm water, letting the rivulets of discarded soap curl down her legs, colliding onto her toes.

"_I know" Kagome replied, reaching for the soap. "I know." _

Ughhh very short chapter I know. Chapter two should turn up at least several pages longer, seeing that I wrote this during orchestra and in the time I could steal from procrastinating studying for Ap- Euro . . . . . I'm apologize for Kagome's whole wallowing in self pity feel. It will not last for long . Well reviews are throughly appreciated, please keep the flames at a minimum . If you have any suggestions for future pairing be my guest and suggest away.


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